Feeling Kinda Insane

Okay, so last year I sat back in awe as many of my blogger friends joined the A to Z challenge. This year *gulp* I'm going to be one of them.

This recent insanity came partly because I met two of the hosts during an elaborate writer-girly slumber party at Donna's house over LTUE. Konstanz Silverbow and Elizabeth Mueller were both also Donna's guests and, since Donna did the challenge last year, I didn't have a prayer. Inside of two days, I was brainwashed.

Hurry on over and sign up: the list closes on March 31st. If you've never done a blogfest before, this is definitely one you want to check out. It's a great way to jump-start your blogging, attract new followers, find cool new blogs, and meet new blogger friends. The basic idea is to post one blog for every day in April (excluding a few select days to equal 26 total), and to post one post for each letter of the alphabet.

The only thing that makes this possible? Scheduled posting. I'm starting now.

*Brainstorms "A" words*

Why I Love James A. Owen

Okay, so I just met the man last week, but gee wiz, is he inspirational! He was the Keynote Speaker / Guest of Honor at LTUE last week, and I hated that I had to stop taking notes long enough to count alllll the people in the room (I was gophering his address, of course).

I honestly can't say enough about his address. It was basically his life story and all the times he got kicked in the teeth by life, dusted himself off, and chose to continue to succeed.

My favorite quotes from his address:

We all have something unique to us that no one else will completely understand: our point of view. We have to decide how much we believe in what we see, even if it means telling the entire world they are wrong.

There are two secrets to drawing: 1) Making lines on paper, and 2) Choosing where they go.

If you really want something, no one can stop you. If you really don’t want something, no one can help you.

I took simply pages of notes, but there is some awesome news: you can read it all for yourself in his ebook: Drawing Out the Dragons. And, for a VERY limited time, you can read it for free. He posted today that he wanted to give away 1000 in the next 24 hours. I'm not entirely sure when 24 hours ends, but it's gotta be soon. Hurry over!! UPDATE: You can still download the ebook for another week: http://on.fb.me/JAOoneDay (Thanks, Heidi2524.)

Then, watch for his soon-to-be-scheduled Authors' Advisory Conference Call. Yeah, I'm jacked, too. :)

Con-Lagged

I spent the last three days at LTUE and it. Was. AWESOME! But I'll have to give you the report(s) later.

So.

Tired.

I drove down Wednesday in time for dinner with my mom, sister, niece, and nephew, then drove to Donna's house, chatted with her and two other LTUE house-crashing friends (whose blogs I'm too lazy to link to at this moment), then got up at 5:45 (!!!) so we could be there by 7 but we were late because parking was FREAKING FAR AWAY, then I ran around the conference all day long, left at about 7, dinner, late to bed, up at 6:30, back to LTUE at 8, more running for 14 hours, late to bed again, up early to pack my junk and get there by 8 again, running until 5:30 when I went back to Donna's house for my junk and vehicle, picked up my bro's gf, drove to Sandy, dinner with bro, gf, sister, her dh, up late talking to the fam at my mom's house, up early so I could leave by 8, drove allllll the way home in time for 12:30 church, arrived at 12:00 to find my own dh hadn't written the 8-year-old's talk, wrote the talk, rushed to church, endured a meeting then choir practice after church, home for dinner, did a little email catch-up, a bit of TV, unpacking, some reading (yay reading!) before bed, and I'll be back to the day-job Monday, and if you think this sentence is long IMAGINE how I feel.

*Sets the blog to post at 7:30 am Monday morning*

*Resolves not to read TOO late*

*Misses LTUE*

Conference Necessities

It's that time again: I'm abandoning my husband and children, climbing behind the wheel, and driving off to the wild, wonderful world of a WRITER'S CONFERENCE. If you're a writer and you haven't yet crammed yourself into a building with hundreds of other writers, REPENT! You won't regret it.

Packing for a writer's conference is an experience in and of itself. This is a partial list of the things I consider essential to life and happiness while I'm gone:

Audio Books. When hubby is driving (which happens whenever hubby is in the car), I read quietly to myself. Why should I have to abandon all that great fiction immersion time just because I also have to keep the vehicle between the lines? Even though I'll only be driving for a combined total of about 8 hours, I always make sure to have several audio books with me (thank you, public library), so I can switch the book if I decide one of the narrators is annoying or the books aren't as compelling as I thought they'd be.

Comfortable shoes. No pumps, heels (kitten, high, or otherwise), or pointy-toed death-traps for this girl. I'm there to move. Especially while I'm gophering (or fighting for the best seats), I need to be able to quickly get from one room to the next, and I can't do that if I'd rather amputate at both ankles. Pain might breed conflict, but it's a bad thing at a conference. Fashion is good if you can get it too, but my basic black shoes will serve me just fine.

Food. This particular conference doesn't provide food... or lunch breaks. So I'll need portable snacks and sandwich wrap makings so I can grab a quick bite in between panels, gophering, and hob-nobbing.

Mini Laptop. It's light, portable, has a brand-new extended-life battery, and is all ready to take tons of notes. I'll try to be better about sharing this year....

Cell Phone. Mostly for tweeting, because using hashtags to instantly broadcast cool quotes is awesome. #LTUE

Paper and Pen. Because when the laptop battery dies and the cell phone charge is in the orange, you still want to be able to take notes.

Business cards. These are a must for anyone going to a conference. If you're just starting out, don't worry about making them fancy (unless you want to). My first year I printed mine at home, with a picture of a fledgling robin (haha), my name, and my email addy. I still make mine myself at the local copy shop (which makes them look all shiny, even when I cut them out myself). You just want something you can hand people so you don't have to write your contact info over and over again. Also, the name tag necklace thing they give you is the PERFECT place to carry business cards. Slip them in behind the tag and they're always at your fingertips.

Books to Read. Just because I'll be busy from sun-up to sun-down doesn't mean I won't have time to read. Last year I stole Donna's ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS and stayed up much too late reading it. This year I have a fine selection of library books that should keep my time filled.

Books to have Signed. I don't have money to buy all the awesome books I HAVE TO HAVE, but those I do have can now be signed. Especially EVERNEATH.

Okay, so I need to stop now or I won't have time to actually pack anything. If you're going to be there, tweet me and we can try to get together - I'd love to meet you in real life!

Ye Olde English

Prithee, when thou hast characters which spring from time – Lo! – long gone by, take heed for thyself that thine own people might perchance yet understand their discourse. 

For thou knowest or can surely surmise that the usual denizens of long ago who spoke with the lilt of yesteryear had not access to sufficient of the written word to spend their days in perusing it. Nor – and this, perchance, is the more salient point – nor will they deign to travel forward along the continuum of time for the purpose of comprehending and interpreting thy words for the ignorant amongst the present generation. 

Thus we reach the sad conclusion that those of whom ye write cannot also read, while those who may read thy works are not those of whom ye write. It is therefore of necessity that ye write of those whom ye write, but to those who will read. This additionally requires those of whom ye write to adjust their diction accordingly, that those who will read may understand the words which they speak, which thou dost write.*

Understand?

*Even old-time characters have to use modern English, or the modern English speakers - your readers - will have a hard time relating to them. Avoid modern idioms, modern slang, and references to things that date to modern times, but everything else is the same. K?

Life, the Universe, and Everything

Nothing like attending a funeral to make you ponder the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Especially when it's such a great guy, like my husband's Grandpa Frank.

Grandpa Frank's Big Fish didn't normally get away

You know what else makes you ponder that sort of stuff? Great writing conferences, like this one:

LIFE, 

THE UNIVERSE, 

AND EVERYTHING 

XXX

If you are or can arrange to be anywhere near Orem, Utah next week, you really need to come. It's cheap, it has over 100 panels and other events, and, for the second year in a row, it has... wait for it... wait for it... ME! Yes, I'm moderating again. I'll be on the following panels:

Thursday, February 9, 10:00 am

Podcasting for Writers (Perfect, right?)

Also on the panel: Daniel Coleman, Stephen Gashler, Robert J Defendi

Thursday, February 9, 2:00 pm

Tolkien and Lewis: why they are still relevant after seventy years 

Also on the panel: Michael R. Collings, Jessica Harmon, James A. Owen

Friday, February 10, 7:00 pm 

Why we love horror 

Also on the panel: Nathan Shumate, Michael R. Collings, Jenn R. Johansson

Then, in all my spare time, I'll also be gophering. Yes, you should be jealous. There is nothing more fun than getting a back-stage pass to all the conference fun. And all I have to do is carry some water, hustle hither-and-yon with an important-looking clipboard, and boss people around (five minutes, Mr. Sanderson)!

Bliss.

So who's coming?

How NOT to Write a Synopsis: Breakdown

Okay, so I didn't have time to write a fake bad synopsis, and I'm certainly not going to post my own first synopsis draft (it's really boring), so you'll just have to imagine for now. Maybe later I'll have time, but we had a death in the family yesterday and, well, grief and funeral travel really sucks the extras out of your day, you know?

So here's the quick and dirty on why each of my tips from Monday were a bunch of hooey. I preface this by pointing out that I am NOT 1) an agent, 2) particularly experienced in writing synopses, or 3) going on more than just my limited experience, here. If you disagree with what I'm saying (especially if you find an agent who disagrees), feel free to disregard.

1. Don't start with a 1-page synopsis. Just don't. Maybe later, after you've written a longer one, you'll be ready to try for the 1-pager. Starting out to write a 1-page synopsis is like deciding to swim the English channel once you've conquered the breast stroke. You're not ready, and you're going to choke. (Well, okay, so you might be a lot better at this than I am, so if you are, assume I'm talking about me. I'll just wait here for when you need oxygen.)
2. Don't sweat the spacing, etc, in your rough draft. Each agent has different guidelines and the ones who don't, don't care. Some say they want it 4-6 pages double-spaced. Give them what they ask for. Some want a "brief" synopsis, which is probably between 1-3 pages, single-spaced, but can also be 2-6 pages double-spaced ("brief" likely doesn't mean more than that, unless you're writing a law brief, which is a whole different blog). If you're at all nervous, scour the agency website for specifics and consider tweeting them or people who have queried them in the past. Chances are, if they don't have specifics, anything close is fine.
3. Lots of online articles explain how to go about deciding what information to include. None of them advocate ignoring your manuscript while you do it. Putting too many details in is FINE while you're writing the rough draft. I actually think it will help you to keep some sort of tone and flavor. Edit later. Decide later what can stay and what doesn't justify its presence. Don't bleed out your synopsis. It doesn't work for your writing, and it doesn't work for your synopsis.
4. Short sentences rock. I felt so dumb when I figured this one out. I had these huge sentences in my synopsis so I could hurry through the plot. They sounded exactly like huge long sentences normally sound: clunky, hard to read, and impossible to understand. Breaking them up helped with the flow and didn't actually increase my word count that much. D-Oh!
5. Same paragraph rules apply in the synopsis as apply in regular writing. Crazy, huh? Everything in the paragraph should relate to everything else in the paragraph. If that means that your synopsis will have lots of different paragraphs, well, good. That's an excellent sign that lots of different things happen in your book. If you can find a way to show that two different events are connected, wonderful: let them share a paragraph. Just don't talk about how Bella almost got raped by a gang of thugs in the same paragraph that you talk about how lots of boys asked her to the prom.
6. Halfway through, you are GOING to worry that your synopsis is running long. DON'T. Yes, it's running long, but if you're anything like me, your manuscript's rough draft ran long, too. That's why they invented editing. Just keep writing for now. Let the subplots crop up when they want to and trim them back later. When you look at everything together, you'll be better able to decide what is part of a subplot and what is related to the main action. I promise, it will be faster and easier to do it this way than to try to cut things before they're on the page. So long as you don't try to turn in your rough draft, you'll be fine.
7. Brandon Sanderson says that, if you're going to solve problems with your magic, your reader has to understand how it works. (Who hasn't pointed across the room and said "Accio Book!") If, however, you aren't going to solve problems with it, you don't have to explain it. Same holds true for your synopsis - even if you're not writing a fantasy. If something is essential enough to be included in the synopsis, it's essential enough to explain. That explanation might be a tad bland, but it still has to be done. Spice it up if you can, but get it in there. Don't just say that "Harry uses magic to summon his broom" (HP GOF, #4), say that "he lifts his wand high and declares 'Accio broom!'" See? Not much longer and a heck of a lot more interesting. 
8. More essential is explaining anything that impacts your character's motivations. Like emotions. Compare "Mr. Darcy proposes and Elizabeth refuses him" with "Mr. Darcy, in a long speech about how he loves her despite her odious relations, proposes marriage. Elizabeth, shocked and offended, vehemently refuses." You don't want agents wondering WHY your characters do what they do. You're not just trying to prove that you can plot: you're trying to prove that you can plot WELL. That means you must show that actions are followed by reactions and that your characters aren't just making choices willy-nilly.
9. Synopses are boring, yo. If you can throw in an extra word or three here and there to help spice them up, DO IT!  Agents have to read these things. Don't go crazy, but you can say that the nurse used the nasty-tasting Skele-grow to painfully regrow all of Harry's arm-bones, even though the name of the potion isn't essential. Be careful with this one, though: too many colorful details will bog the synopsis down worse than having too few. Err on the side of bland, but edge close to the line when you can.
10. In my first synopsis, I rushed past the climax and barely touched on the denouement. So dumb. That's where everything comes together. If the plot makes sense, it HAS to show in the climax. Don't skimp here. Explain every detail in your rough draft, then cut it back, looking for clarity and excitement rather than brevity. Mine is now about a third of my entire synopsis.
11. I'm still struggling with this, but I do believe that it's essential to have someone who hasn't read your book read your synopsis. There's just no other way to figure out if everything will make sense to an agent - who hasn't read your book. Just bite the bullet and sacrifice one of your kind friends who won't get the full joy of reading the book as it was meant to be read. You can make it up to them later. Acknowledgments are nice. (No, I didn't get to help Brodi with any portion of her writing process, despite constantly begging.)
12. Treat the synopsis the same way you treat your manuscript. Don't just dash it off and hit send. Write it. Let it sit. Edit it. Send it to a friend (see #11). Let it sit. Edit it again. Agents may not expect it to be perfect, but, seriously, they have your 300 word query letter, your 300-3000 word writing sample, and this synopsis to decide whether you're a good enough writer to take a chance on. Don't wonder later if things would have been different if you'd just taken some time.
13. There are as many ways to write a good synopsis as there are different books and different authors. Research how others have done it and figure out what works for your book and your writing style.
14. When all else fails, this is still very helpful: 

What pitfalls did you fall into while writing your synopsis? Do a gal a favor and tell me where they were, huh?