Choosing What's Important OR Why I'll Never Be Good At Journaling

When I got my first set of scriptures with my shiny new red scripture marker pencil (how's that for a string of adjectives?), I immediately set to work underlining the important scriptures. Three completely red pages later, I looked back and wondered why I bothered marking at all. The scriptures weren't easier to find or read now that they were all red. If I wanted to find a scripture on faith, I still had to look in the index. So I stopped marking scriptures unless a teacher suggested one as "markable." Or if it was a scripture mastery scripture and therefore in my best interests to be able to quickly locate in the event of a scripture chase.

Lest you think this was just a youthful inability to identify truly important things... it has never gotten any better. In desperation, at the age of 21, I developed an elaborate system of marking, that labeled each word according to topic. Faith and repentance were green. Prophets and references to records were light blue. Christ was orange-red. I had a pack of 24 scripture markers and all but white had a designated purpose in my scriputures. Reading them was more akin to coloring. I spent more time deciding what color each word should be than I did deciding how I felt about each one. I wish I could report that I've finally found a happy medium.

Elana Johnson posted a list of tips for writers recently, including "Write in a Journal." I'm really REALLY hoping this isn't a hard-and-fast rule, because I'm just as bad at picking the important parts of my life as I am at picking the important parts of the scriputures. During the very infrequent periods in my life when I've kept a journal, it took hours to maintain. Also, it quickly devolved into a blow-by-blow account of contacts with my current crush. Great fodder for YA? Certainly. I'd love to locate that journal and read it... before burying it deep in the earth. Was my crush the most important thing that happened to me during those months? Probably not. Just the most obsessive.

Right now my life is busier than it has ever been. I'm maintaining a full-time career, trying to start up another one (Best-Selling Novelist--have you heard of any openings?), I have three church jobs (Gospel Doctrine teacher, Cub Scout Committee Chair, and Visiting Teacher), three young sons, and a house that doesn't clean itself. Oh, and a husband who likes to get attention at regular intervals. If each day were twice as long, I'd still need more time. Girl's gotta read sometime, right? So for now and for the forseeable future, this blog is my only journal. Long live the internet.

Which brings me to my final, startlingly happy point: choosing what's important in fiction is worlds easier than choosing what's important in the scriptures or in my own life. Why? Because I don't know the future of my own life. Because I don't know the future of my own life, it is impossible to know what to put in a journal. What will I want to look back on later? *shrugs* Can't know. (Since my crush wasn't my future husband, it seems I was very wrong to think it would be important to record every word he said to me.) Which scriptures will I want to lean on in the coming months and years? How the heck should I know that? Will I most need scriptures on patience or on pride? On balance or on self-improvement? (I know which I'd rather need....)

Fiction, happily, is different. I know where my characters will be a few weeks down their lives. I know which experiences they need to have at the beginning of the book so they'll react appropriately at the end. I didn't always know this, but now that I'm editing, the picture is a lot more clear. It's still hard to winnow out the throw-away experiences, but at least I have a template--the end of the book--I can use to help me figure it out.

Editing is cool.

Mocking Children for Fun and Profit

This will come as a shock to parents, but it has to be said: children are deeply flawed. Yes, even yours. Sorry. The job of parents (as I often reiterate to my own hellions) is to try to correct these flaws before they are released into the wilds of adulthood.

When these flaws manifest, there are many ways to deal with them: 1) Screaming; 2) Yelling; 3) Time-Outs; 4) DHW unapproved physical discipline; 5) Loss of privileges; 6) Grounding; 7) Lecturing; or, my personal favorite, 8) Mocking.

Mocking has several benefits for both parent and child. The child is impressed with the utter futility and foolishness of his flawed behavior while the parent is better able to retain her hair, her vocal chords aren't torn raw by shrieking (actually, this has never happened to me--why do you ask?), and she can maintain an aura of adult superiority while still acting like the child she has always been inside.

The applications are vast.

Toddler throws full-blown-kicking-screaming-on-the-floor tantrum in PUBLIC? Don't be embarrassed: point and laugh. What an entertaining show your progeny is putting on. Accept tantrum tips from nearby parents and enjoy connecting with kindred spirits until peace reigns anew.

Five-year-old declares (for the very first time) that he HATES you? Don't feel hurt: you've passed an important milestone. While your heart swells with pride, engage in a little cathartic No-You-Don't-Yes-I-Do back-and-forth with your wee one.

Nine-year-old announces that he will NOT be doing [insert recent parental proclamation]? No need for a health-endangering rise in blood pressure: level your pint-sized prince with your best "Who's the Boss" stare, raise one eyebrow, then burst out laughing. Wait out the tantrum, then reiterate [insert recent parental proclamation]. Repeat as needed. See? All better.

As you may suspect, this method has applications for more literary babies, as well (and no one will think you're a bad parent for suggesting this method for correcting flaws in your manuscript).

Did you send out your newly-completed-and-rough-polished first draft to alpha readers only to realize (a day and a half later) that the plot is a screaming mess? It's too late to keep your darling home, so point it out and laugh. Encourage others to join in. The points your readers mock the most? Change those first. Thank them for helping focus your revision efforts.

Realize (not for the first time, alas) that you are dreadfully bad at (picking a completely random example) description? Don't fret. Accept the blank canvas that is created by all your invisible characters wandering over your white landscape, pull out your crayons, and engage in a little cathartic coloring.

Has your hero declared that he will NOT be doing [insert recently realized plot-pivotal action]? Don't toss your computer into the street. Pull out your bag of Horrible Happenings, allow a maniacal laugh to issue from your lips, and provide him with the proper motivation. Repeat as needed. See? All better.

All in all, mocking is much more entertaining than screaming. Trust me on this. You'll see that I'm right.


In completely unrelated news, I've recently "completed" my WIP to the point that I can let a few select brave souls read it. My mother, predictably, finished first (aren't mothers cool?) and (with complete objectivity) called my story "Fascinating." (Yes, I'm totally quoting her in my query letter.)

Then, last night, she spend one and a half hours explaining all the ways I'd screwed up. Most notably by including a host of nameless, faceless, personality-devoid parents for my teenage characters. Oops. She kept apologizing for being so negative and I just laughed (oh, yeah, look at me, practicing what I preach): she had so many solid ideas for making it better! Why would I be sad?

Mocking is good.

Now excuse me while I go scream at my children.... Anyone have a throat lozenge?

On Emergency Rooms, Revisions, and Balance

In the last two months, my nearest-and-dearest have visited various emergency rooms (or the equivalent) 10 times:

1. My 9-year-old son lacerated and compression-fractured his toe, requiring stitches and a walking boot.
2. My 3-year old nephew broke his arm, requiring a cast.
3. The same nephew broke the same arm again, this time in the growth plate, requiring surgery.
4. The same nephew's brother fell during Nephew 1's doctor's appointment and broke his face, possibly requiring surgery on his nose.
5. My husband's father's mother had heart issues and spent the night in the hospital, prompting family-wide panic.
6. Same grandma back in hospital a few days later after putting too much energy into putting her affairs in order and not enough into resting.
7. My mother-in-law tore her knee up skiing--ligaments traumatized.
8. Nephew 1&2's mother tore her knee up, tearing ligaments.
9. My sister had an ectopic pregnancy, requiring surgery.
10. Same sister now has pneumonia, requiring an overnight hospital stay.

Apparently, bad things don't just come in threes.

Meanwhile, my own life seems charmed--I personally keep dodging disaster. (Yeah, got me some nice wood to knock on right here....) I did a 180 on the freeway in Salt Lake on my way home, ended up stopped in the fast lane, pointing the wrong way, and drove away moments later, completely unscathed. All the cars behind me managed to miss me--even the truck with the snow plow on the front. I got to moderate at LTUE, talk to more authors for Authors' Advisory, and I spend all my free time quite seflishly pounding away at my book, reading the books of those I'll interview soon, and getting to know the other wonderful writers of the World Wide Web.

And I feel guilty. My 9-year-old had to hang out with the DVD player at the ski lodge last weekend because mommy was at a conference while everyone else was skiing. When my MIL busted her knee on that trip, another driver would have been awfully handy. My husband and sons visited his grandma the same weekend... without me. When we got news of my sister, Jerry asked if we needed to head down to be with her. I looked up from the computer and assured him all would be well, no reason to fuss. I sent her a few texts and spoke to her husband on the phone. I've let my husband handle the health updates on his own family. I'm a total slacker, family-wise.

You'd think, with all I'm ignoring to revise this monster, that I'd be farther along. Instead, I didn't revise at all last week (traveling will do that, I hear) and I've spent all this week working on ONE CHAPTER! It's a mildly important chapter, sure, but really? One? I finally laid it to rest last night and I'm moving on tonight, but if next month goes at all like this month has, revision-wise, I still won't have my second draft done by the end of March.

Which is really depressing.

So anyone have advice? How long does your family tolerate your absence while you hide in your writer's cave? How do you balance the duties of a wife, mother, sister, daughter, and granddaughter while still making forward progress on your writing career? Those of you who, like me, have a day-job as well--how do you balance the precious time you have left after you get home? How often does your bathroom get cleaned? (If you don't answer that, I won't either, deal?)

While writing the last paragraph above, my sons brought me their Shrek doll, which, untill recently, was stuffed with tiny white plastic beads. They want him fixed. I think I might take an hour to watch some TV, fix the doll before he completely bleeds out... and maybe even fold some laundry.

Then I'll feel guilty about not writing, instead. *sigh*

Revision Blues

11 days into revisions and I'm still trying to figure out how to start. I've tried to graph plot arcs, but realized I was spending more time figuring out the graph program than figuring out whose plot arc was where. I think I need to go a bit more low-tech.

I've nailed down (for the most part) the motivations of the POV characters and I've identified some subplots that are ripe for the chopping block, but it's hard to wrap my mind around the whole project.

Anyone have tips on how to start revisions? Do you start with the plot? Characters? What techniques do you use? Do you just go back to the beginning and fix the first chaper... and so forth? Methinks some training is in order....