Life, the Universe, and Everything 2015

It's that time again! Life, the Universe, and Everything is upon us once more next week, February 12th, 13th, and 14th.

This year, I'm reprising my role as Pitch Master, which basically means I get to hang out with the cool kids and boss people around. Because I'm not fond of leaving well-enough alone, I even talked most of them into expanding the format choices to include group sessions. [By which I mean I asked and they enthusiastically said yes.]

Well, except for Toni Weisskopf, Baen Editor and LTUE's keynote speaker. She's insisting on doing individual outline critiques instead.

And Peter J. Wacks, editor for Word Fire Press. He's insisting on doing a clinic on how to present a pitch.

I told them I didn't think we could handle that much awesomeness, but they were persistent.

In all my spare time, I'll also be on some panels--and I know what you're thinking, here. "What? Why is Robin Ambrose on panels when she hasn't published a lick of SFF? And that's a Very Good Question, with a pretty decent answer: I'm on three panels related to my recently-ended career as a Public Defender:

Thursday at 5:00 pm: Crime: What to get right? with Michaelbrent Collings, Eric James Stone, Al Carlisle, and Eric Swedin

Friday at 3:00 pm: Psyhology of a Serial Killer with Al Carlisle (who is the expert)

Saturday at 12:00 noon: Law Enforcement with James Ganiere and Zachary Hill

I bet you didn't even know I was a Public Defender, did you? Well, good. As it should have been. Because confidentiality. But I still know a thing or two about criminals and the criminal legal process, so LTUE is letting me near a microphone. Fun, huh? :D

I might also be on one or two other panels as a moderator (which means I have some great questions to ask, but no answers), but those are subject to change, so I won't tease you. I'd hate to have you show up and find I'm not there anymore.

So who will be there?

Advice from the Pitch Master

Hi, all! Sorry for the silence (again), but I've been busy. Dealing with personal stuff (which you can probably guess), applying for a new job (why, yes, I AM nervous that my potential employers will stop by here and conclude that I'm not sufficiently dignified for the position--thanks for asking), and getting over 70 pitch sessions ready for LTUE.

Busy.

Busy.

Busy.

The good news? Two of those time-eaters are now mostly history, so I should be able to resume my regular blogging schedule. And writing. And reading, please the heavens. (How I've missed it! I had to return BITTERBLUE to the library today and I'm not done yet!)

Anyway, since I didn't get to attend many panels at LTUE--Pitch Master is a time-consuming job, turns out--I thought I'd share my thoughts on pitching agents and editors. I had lots of fun dispensing this advice to the captive, nervous pitchers as they waited for their turn with Michelle Witte and Judith Engracia (my awesome friend Wendy Knight--whose debut FEUDLINGS comes out next month!!--was monitoring the editors' room, so I got to spend ten seconds every ten minutes with two awesome agents. So fun!).

So here's the short list of what I told them:

• You bought the time: use it! Don't [do what I did when I pitched last year and] get all excited when you get a request and leave early. Especially if you haven't asked any of your carefully prepared questions. These folks are experts in their field, so ask your questions!
• Don't ask questions designed to figure out if the two of you are compatible enough to work well together. That's the sort of thing you ask when they offer representation. Which, let's face it, probably won't happen. (See below.)
• The odds of THIS agent being the agent who will love YOUR book are only slightly higher than they would be if you were cold-querying through the slush pile. Your whole career isn't riding on the next ten minutes. Your personality--though fantastic--can't make an agent like your lyrical-sci-fi-romance-adventure when she prefers comedic-sci-fi-romance-thrillers. So chill out.
• Since this agent COULD be the agent who loves your book, make sure you pitch it well! Follow the advice Howard Tayler gave about teasers this year (in one of the few presentations I made it to): You need an inciting incident, character action, conflict, and a hook. A hook is that moment when the reader starts to imagine your book themselves--to wonder what might happen and get excited to find out. (Howard usually blows my mind at cons. He's THAT amazing--and he actually remembered me this time! :) )

And that's about it for advice from me.

Two more things, but this is just general con-advice: 1) always have an updated business card to hand out. If you're wondering if you even need such a thing, ask yourself if there's a chance you'll meet someone nice, who you'll want to talk to again. If the answer is yes, you need a card. It just takes too long to write down your email on a napkin--and then they'll just lose the thing or forget who the heck gave it to them. Photo, email, blog, twitter, etc. Trust me. Get it before you think you need it. You can design them yourself with free templates on Word and print them cheap at your local copy shop.

2) Save the elastic necklace things off your con-name-tags in case the next one wants you to wear a pin instead. Necklaces are sooo much better, IMO. Also, your business cards are stored INSIDE the plastic name tag holder, right behind your name tag. That's where they live. Then, when you meet the aforementioned really nice person, you don't have to go hunting. You don't have to wonder where you left your bag. You just dig into your name tag and voila! Easy.

So who has pitched before? Any advice you want to add? Any general con advice? Who was at LTUE?

My very own PitchLive video pitch

If you've ever been curious to see what I look like while I'm talking, despair no more! After much agonizing, kicking myself, and twitter peptalks, I have finally produced my very first vlog!

This is for Pitch Live, the incredibly gutsy and frightening new contest dreamed up by Brenda Drake, Erica Chapman, and Leigh Ann Kopan. I've mentioned before how this sort of thing unreasonably terrifies me, but here it is anyway, all ready for the first round of judging. Of the almost 50 brave entries, 30 will move on to the agent round, so I figure my odds are pretty good. :)

Title: DUSTED

Genre: YA Urban Fantasy

Word Count: 95,000

So what did you think? Did my voice sound like you thought it would? Did I look okay? Any tips to do it better next time? *runs and hides at the thought of next time*

Spooktacular Pitch Contest!

Details here

Good news: Despite the name, all completed Adult, NA, YA, and MG manuscripts are invited to enter. Even if you have no spooks in yours.

Bad news: Only 50 entries will go on to the agent round.

Good news: Of you're not in the agent round, you don't even have to submit your pitch! :)

Bad news: I'm not sure how much time you'll have to email your pitch after the finalists are announced, so you'd better just polish your 3-sentence pitch and first 250, just in case.

Enter with a rafflecopter widget between today and 12:01 am October 17th.

So who's entering with me?


Also, everyone have their vlog pitches done for Pitchlive on Monday? Who else still has to record AND edit theirs and is having a bad hair day? Please tell me I'm not the only one!

Live Pitch Contest... with VLOGS! O_O

Go here for details

So, you may already know that I majored in Theatre Arts. Where I took scads of acting classes. This after I was the Speech and Drama Stirling Scholar for my Utah high school. I'm currently employed as a trial lawyer. I talk for a living. I talk in front of people for a living. I love talking to large crowds of people. Or small crowds of people. Or just to people. I have never once in my life been accused of shyness. (Anyone who knows me is laughing right now at the very idea.)

So why am I so terrified of recording myself giving my pitch and then posting that pitch online?

Talking? No problem.

Being on camera? Nope--I was in a student film in college and had tons of fun.

Pitching? Mildly terrifying, but I've done it before and survived nicely.

Proving to the world at large that I'm rather a fool? Eh. I'm a blue personality, so I crave intimacy in any form. The more you know about me, the happier I am. You'll probably think my foolishness is endearing. Or something.

Is it creating the vlog? Maybe--I've never done that before. I might suck at it. I might also be able to use this as the perfect excuse to finally purchase a webcam. (I know, I know. Living in the Dark Ages, blah, blah, blah.) And technology toys have never frightened me. Nor computer programs. And I'm a wiz at googling "How to create a vlog." And following instructions.

But, you guys . . . normally public speaking includes someone to talk to. Someone I can adjust my voice and facial expressions for. Vlogs are filled with semi-planned semi-spontaneity recorded in a vacuum. I suck at semi-planned semi-spontaneity--especially in a vacuum. Ditto at planned quirkiness. How does one script for personality? But if I don't script for personality, won't it figure showing up is optional? Surely a personality-free pitch is worse than no pitch at all!

Also, where should I film the video? If you were looking out my monitor at this moment, you'd see the bathroom door behind me. And the hall where my kids sometimes hang up their backpacks. Might be distracting. But is the view of the dining room's dirty blinds any better? The TV? The front window, currently covered by sheet-curtains?

This is why two of the organizers of the upcoming Pitch Live! contest teamed up to talk me off the ledge on Twitter on Monday. The first one is me replying to Brenda's tweet announcing Leigh's sample-vlog.

They're so nice, right? I mean, who can say no to these girls?

So I should do it, right?
*runs screaming into the night*
*feels ashamed of self*
*gathers courage*
*seeks a sticking-place*
*realizes she has run out of screws*

Anyway, any advice would be appreciated. I'd like to learn how to edit out the boring parts, where to look, what to say... etc. Please feel free to answer the questions I don't know enough to ask. Are there any free video editing software programs that can help me spruce it up? Help!

Also, you all should totally join in the torture fun. Misery Party loves company, after all.

You gonna play?

Contest Alert: PitchMadness

Sorry for the late warning on this one, guys, but I wanted to tell you anyway. Polish up your 35 word pitch (exact word count) and the first 150 words (end at the end of the sentence) of your completed manuscript and go here for more details.

Submission windows: 

Saturday, September 1:

1ST SUBMISSION TIME: 12:00 pm EDT (EST-NY time) first 100.
2ND SUBMISSION TIME: 6:00 pm EDT (EST-NY time) first 100.

Tuesday, September 4:

3RD (Extra!) SUBMISSION TIME: 10:00 am EDT (EST-NY time) first 100.
Visit Brenda Drake's blog for more details on proper formatting and for the email address to send to.

Why You Should See YALitChat Pitch Slam--Also, Congrats to Deana!

In case you've ever wanted to find out what agents are thinking before they send that form rejection, now's your chance.

Well, maybe not for your work, since I was a slacker and didn't tell you about this while you could still join in the fun and bloody games, but still.

Over the last two weeks over at YALitChat, Pitch Slam 2 has been in full swing. Three agents have made it all the way through the scores of pitches that entered. One agent is still commenting.

It's been brutal, folks. BRUTAL. A virtual bloodbath.

Also, instructive.

I now know:

1. Why agents don't have time to send personalized query feedback--the hours these ladies are logging while they comment are simply amazing. There is NO WAY they could do this with their slush piles. Even if they did nothing for their existing clients, there are simply not enough hours in the day.
2. Why most queries / pitches get rejected: they don't stand out. They sound like everything else out there. Even if the premise is exciting, if it sounds like something the agent has read before--and doesn't have some indication as to what makes it unique, they pass.
3. "Pixies" + "rainbow colored" = "This sounds like MG" Who knew? 

Head on over and see for yourself. Even if your pitch isn't in there (and, really, you'll probably feel better about yourself if it isn't), the simulated slush pile they have going on is amazingly educational.

In that "pain is good" kind of way.

Also, I should mention that my writer's groupie, Deana Barnhart, got rather negative reactions on her pitch from the participating agents... and still landed an agent yesterday. 

Shows what they know. (It probably has something to do with the fact that her agent got to read more than six lines, but still.) 

Congrats, Deana!

LTUE Recap: Queries and Pitching

Okay, so I didn't get a picture of this panel, either. Sorry about that. Instead, I'm showing you a picture of what I look like when I think about querying--and what I'll likely look like when I do my first live pitch in May:

Torn-out hair, vacant stare,
lips that don't know WHAT to say

Querying and pitching are hard, yo.

So this panel was one of my favorites: you can never get too much query and pitching advice.

Lisa Mangum (author and editor at Shadow Mountain)

• Use what you know about the agent/editor: Lisa is a heavy metal lover, so if your book has that in it (and you get it right), you'll catch her attention
• Verbal pitch at conference: 
• Need to have elevator pitch down (one sentence): be able to rattle it off in one breath. 
• Also know what makes your book different from other books on the market--and don’t just repeat the elevator pitch if someone asks. 
• Be excited, show passion for book—that's easier in person than in a query letter. 
• Short and sweet: Frodo must take the ring of power to mt doom or all of middle earth will fall into shadow 
• Don't include an implicit threat in your query [Shadow mountain is an LDS publisher]
• I.E. "Just pray about this and I'm sure you'll want to publish it"
• Don’t tie your testimony to your submission 
• Write the best book you can, practice your pitch 
• Deseret Book publishes 1+ books per year from debut authors 

Chris Schoebinger (acquisitions editor at Deseret Book)

• He loves animals, so putting animals in your book appeals to him: mention it so he knows they're there
• Find someone today to practice your pitch with – if you can’t sell me in 4 sentences, you've lost me (can have more than one, but not more than 4) 
• Most surprising query: Bill Bennett: story of Jacob Marley: "how did Jacob get to be where he was and why did he get the chance to come back and warn Scrooge and why didn't he have the same chance Scrooge did… or did he?" 
• Have beta readers before you submit, Know about marketing—blog followers, networking contacts, are you at liberty to do author tours? (That will increase publisher value) 
• Taylor Whitesides: simple pitch: secret society of janitors… because he used to work as a custodian: they can use that detail in a publicity package 
• More interested in building a brand than publishing an author: want multiple bestsellers 
• There's a difference between annoying and assertive 

Jeff Scott Savage (whose querying days are recently behind him, but who will be selling his books forever)

• Started writing books at 38, had 70 jobs, plumber, mall Santa 
• High concept: take small idea and make it your hook (shoe store ONLINE): hero + DIFFERENT
• Need likeable protag, goal, obstacles, consequences: if you don’t know what those four things are, you won’t be able to communicate it to the agents/editors 
• Wants new stuff from Covenant rather than LDS exclusively (Sara Eden, regency romance) – going to conferences will help you learn what publishers/agents want 
• Having an agent/editor ask for a rewrite or to have different projects is a good thing—jump on that right away: take that opportunity 
• Don’t write Book 2 in a series while submitting Book 1: write Book 1 as stand-alone, then write another series – you’ll have plenty of time to write Book 2, but if you’re in the middle of Book 2 when Book 1 is rejected, nothing much you can do about that. Don’t focus on selling THIS BOOK. Get a career plan.  

Kirk Shaw (editor at Covenant Communications)

• Almost majored in vocal performance, loves music (mention music in your query if your book has it)
• Common mistake in querying/pitches: authors can hold back on what they give: agents/editors want to know what the story is all about, beginning to end. [I don't think he's saying you should tell the end in your query/pitch, but even if he is, keep in mind that other agents/editors say differently.] 
• Take your subgenre, find titles that are strong, and associate your book with theirs 
• Tiffany Fletcher’s agent came and said book “Tiffany’s memoir of dealing with a parent who had associative personality disorder.” At the time they weren't taking anything like that, so they decided to pass. A year or so later, Tiffany pitched it to Kirk's boss at a conference… a week after they decided to look into memoirs. Timing is everything.
• Don’t give up. Sara Eden self-published 9 books before Covenant decided to publish her books 
• If you’re writing a Rapunzel book and have long hair, that’s relevant: know what your platform is, etc 
• Keep writing while the first book is out on submission: Sara Eden had multiple books written, so they can release 2 books each year: get in the habit of writing regularly so you can release regularly 

Donna Milakovic (writer)

• Know who you’re pitching to – what they’re working on, etc. 
• Can put your in-progress books in your query letter [Again, look at the specific agent's preferences: some don't like this.]

And that's all the notes I have.

Oh, Yeah, and a Cool Pitch Contest

My sons think it is cool to shorten words. So this is a "pitch":

Don't you feel cool? I should totally ask them how to shorten my actual pitches, too.

I totally meant to tell you about Brenda Drake's contest, too, but didn't remember it until this morning. There is only one very small window left, starting at 10 PM EST TODAY. They're accepting a very limited number of entries, and then they're having an agent auction. Nothing can be cooler.

Go here RIGHT NOW for complete details. You'll need a 35-word pitch and the first 150 words. Go! Go!

Contest Alert: Logline and 100 Words

It's contest time again! How about we help each other out on this one?

The contest is over at QueryTracker, and it starts Monday at 9:00 am EST. You'll need a free QueryTracker registration (which you want anyway) to access the submission form that will be available bright and early Monday morning (depending on your time zone).

Once the form is live, you'll need to use to submit your one-sentence logline and first 100 words.

The contest will be judged by Natalie Fischer Lakosil, Assistant Agent at the Bradford Literary Agency. Be sure to follow her on Twitter and on her blog.

According to the QueryTracker announcement, this contest is open to the following genres:

Commercial fiction, with an emphasis in children’s literature (from picture book to teen), romance (contemporary, paranormal and historical), and upmarket women’s fiction. Specific likes within those genres include historical, multi-cultural, paranormal, sci-fi/fantasy, gritty, thrilling and darker contemporary novels, and middle grade with heart.

Head over to the official announcement for full details.

Feeling nervous? Me, too.  I haven't tried to write a logline in a looong time, and all my old efforts sound quite sub-par.

So I propose, over the next day and a half, an exchange of logline crits for those of you who would like to. Mine is below, and I'd appreciate any and all comments on it. If you want me to critique yours, leave a link and post it on your blog (or even in the comments here) and I'll stop by sometime tonight or tomorrow. Feel free to post your first 100 words, too, though I'm going to be focusing on my logline.

Ready? Here's my one-sentence logline:

When human-pixie hybrid Brina starts making more pixie dust than a half-breed should, her status slips from strange to bizarre . . . and a group of ruthless rebels see the perfect chance for a coup.

Rip, tear, shred, and let me know if you need similar assistance. :) Good luck!

Had enough pitch contests? Me, neither.

No, not that kind

Just today I was listening to Writing Excuses talk about pitching (and excellent advice it was, too) and thinking I really ought to try to rewrite my pitch. Again. To simplify it. Or something. But how to tell if my new pitch was doing the job?

Then my awesome blog friend Nancy Thompson posted (on her blog) about Lisa L. Regan's pitch contest. Which starts today, and runs through next Monday, October 17, 2011. Kismet, right?

So check it out--this is what Lisa says about the contest:

To Enter:
You must be a follower of [Lisa's] blog and provide a link to either a tweet or a blog post spreading the word about this contest.

You must have a completed novel. Your novel MUST be finished to enter this contest.
Write a 50 word paragraph that is the hook for your book. Basically pitch your book in fifty words.

Post your 50 word pitch in the comments section of my blog with a TITLE and your contact info before the closing date of the contest.

...

Jeanie [Pantelakis of Sullivan Maxx Literary Agency, Lisa's agent] will choose three finalists. The finalists will send her a synopsis of their book as well as their full manuscript. From those three finalists, Jeanie will choose one manuscript and that manuscript will get a full read and a possible contract with Sullivan Maxx.

Pretty cool, huh?

So here's my new 50 word pitch for the contest. I've cut out a lot of stuff that I used to have in my pitches, in the hopes that 1) it won't be quite as confusing, and 2) lack of confusion will lead to more "tell me more" reactions. According to the Writing Excuses team, the elevator pitch (which, depending on how fast you talk, might actually be longer than 50 words), is only supposed to catch their interest and make them say "tell me more." Like most authors, I've struggled (and wrestled, and boxed, and played high-stakes strip poker) with this concept. How can I possibly condense the complex wonder that is my very long novel to one-or-two interesting core concepts? I've tried before, and I'll likely try again. This is my most recent effort:

Brina, like all pixies, can make her own drugs – er, dust. Which the humans appreciate, even if no one can quite get used to Brina’s brown skin, courtesy of her Hispanic human mother. But there’s dust and dust, and a hybrid shouldn’t be suddenly able to make all eight kinds.

So what do you think? Do you want to hear more or are you going "meh" right now? I'm going to enter this in the contest in a couple minutes, but please feel free to suggest improvements. There bound to be another contest sometime! :)

Yup: It's Another Pitch Contest

What can I say? I'm addicted. (Also, pitches are hard, and I'm not quite good at them yet. Practice. Practicepracticepracticepracticepractice.)

This 2-sentence pitch contest is going on over at Beyond Words, and will be judged by Chantelle's agent, Victoria Marini, of Gelfman Schneider Literary Agents, Inc. They prefer that you only join the contest if your WIP is complete, because the prize is a Full Request from Victoria--and she promises to at least critique it for you.

It closes tomorrow night, Friday, July 7th at midnight GMT. (I'm a bit math-challenged, so help me out: EDT=GMT-4hrs. I'm in MDT. So that's GMT-6hrs, right? So the contest closes Friday night at 6 PM MDT, right?)

As a bonus? You also get to include your first line. And boy does my first line look lonely all by itself like that. You should totally come join the contest with me, so it's not so lonely. Writing pitches is a special kind of suffering that really must be shared.

Contest with Teen Judges!

I couldn't resist this one. Brenda Drake is hosting a blog fest with four teenage judges. They're reading the  35-word pitch / loglines and first 250 words of each entrant's WIP, and choosing which one they'd buy. The winner gets a synopsis and 10 page crit, which is so perfect for me, since I'm really worried about my synopsis-writing skills. :)

Now, if I understand the rules right, you get to help me fix my entry before it is judged on the 20th (when I will post it to the entry site). So please feel free to be candid and brutal. I like winning more than I like compliments and I'm perfectly capable of ignoring advice I don't agree with. :)

Without further ado....

35-Word Pitch:

Humans are used to pixies, but human-pixie hybrid Brina will have to leverage her differences to understand her heritage, slow the flow of illegal dust, and win the heart of a certain charming Midsummer ass. 

UPDATE: Based on all the wonderful comments, I've flipped things around a bit. The original (246 words) is below, followed by the revision (249 words). Please comment on whether the revision fixes the problems, introduces new ones, and (if it comes to that) which you like best. Thanks so much!!

First 246 words:

The magazine cover taped to her locker hadn’t been torn carefully, and a jagged gash ripped halfway through Brina’s right wing. As if she needed help looking ridiculous.
Brina stopped dead in the middle of the hallway and forced herself to breathe. Stretched her lips into a slight smile. Pressed her head to the side, as if she were pondering a pleasant surprise. Ignored the churning in her stomach.

Soon, she’d be able to shove her feet forward. 

Brina knew better than to go out in public looking less than her dubious best, but she’d been running late after her workout, and hadn’t even bothered to grow to human size first. Instead, she’d left her backpack and schoolbooks with Moira and rocketed out the palace window toward home and her mom’s birthday party. 

The first flash had come from off to her left and, like an idiot, she’d twisted toward it. Which is how the photographer’s zoom lens caught her: eyes opened wide, long braid slicked back from her face with her own sweat, and limbs sticking out at startled angles from her workout tank and short-shorts. All of it glowing softly brown in the dusk. 

As a special bonus, this particular picture had captured the moment her four bright white wings had frozen in shock, sending her plummeting a few feet downward. The resulting portrait could have been entitled “Freak, Falling” but instead the headline proclaimed: “Human-Pixie Hybrids: The Last American Taboo.” That worked, too.

Revision (249 words):

Brina knew better than to go out in public looking less than her dubious best.

She knew it, but figured hurrying home for her mother’s birthday party would merit a special dispensation of luck. She didn’t even bother to grow to human size first, but left her purse and car keys with Moria and rocketed out the palace window toward home.

The first flash came from off to her left and, like an idiot, she twisted toward it. Which is how the photographer’s zoom lens caught her: eyes opened wide, long braid slicked back from her face with her own sweat, and limbs sticking out at startled angles from her workout tank and short-shorts. All of it glowing softly brown in the dusk.

As a special bonus, the magazine’s cover photo had captured the moment her four bright white wings had frozen in shock, sending her plummeting a few feet downward. The resulting portrait could have been entitled “Freak, Falling” but instead the headline proclaimed: “Human-Pixie Hybrids: The Last American Taboo.” That worked, too.

Naturally, it was taped to her locker first thing Tuesday morning. The cover hadn’t been torn carefully, and a jagged gash ripped halfway through Brina’s right wing. As if she needed help looking ridiculous.

Brina stopped dead in the middle of the hallway and forced herself to breathe. Stretched her lips into a slight smile. Pressed her head to the side, as if she were pondering a pleasant surprise. Ignored the churning in her stomach.

So what do you think? How can I make it utterly un-put-down-able?

Getting a Little Pitchy

Has anyone else been obsessing over pitching lately? Pitch contests, twitter pitch contests, and their ilk have been almost omnipresent for the last few months. I've been entering these various contests like a woman obsessed and have discovered a sad truth: I'm not at all good at this.

My main problem? My book has pixies in it.

Wait! Before you run away to find something interesting to read, let me assure you that my pixies are, like, cool and stuff. They go to high school with regular modern humans, their dust has medicinal and (depending on the color) hallucinogenic properties, and they have their very own subculture.

I know, I know. You're still not impressed. See? I can't express quickly how utterly awesome my book is. Really. It is. *sigh*

So this is why I keep entering contests. I figure if I enter about a hundred pitch contests, I'll eventually figure out a way to pack everything I need into 140 characters. And, if I can do that, I can pack it all into two paragraphs of my query letter, easy. (Though, really, I'm counting on my so-awesome writing groupie Jenn Johansson to help me with that part, whether I figure this out or not.)

Anyone want to help? Following is my most recent pitch contest entry. (Coincidentally this contest is going on today and tomorrow over at Market My Words--go join in the fun!) This is a Twitter-pitch contest... but not on Twitter. 140 characters max, which explains the abbreviations:

Teen half-human pixie returns from kidnap… stranger than b4--must learn new powers, dodge HS dust addicts, & expose ancient pixie secrets.

I'd love to know what you think when you read it. Does it make you think of flitting through flowers, full of sweetness and light (#pitchfail); or are you suddenly excited to see what a high school pixie party might look like (#pitchwin)? Any tips to fix this mess?

Oh, and Market My Words also has great links to people smarter than me, who have written about pitching. That's what today's blog was going to be: I was going to research and write about how to write one of these suckers. No need: it's already been done. :)