This is for Pitch Live, the incredibly gutsy and frightening new contest dreamed up by Brenda Drake, Erica Chapman, and Leigh Ann Kopan. I've mentioned before how this sort of thing unreasonably terrifies me, but here it is anyway, all ready for the first round of judging. Of the almost 50 brave entries, 30 will move on to the agent round, so I figure my odds are pretty good. :)
Title: DUSTED
Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Word Count: 95,000
So what did you think? Did my voice sound like you thought it would? Did I look okay? Any tips to do it better next time? *runs and hides at the thought of next time*
Very interesting concept. I liked how you did the comp titles at the end, because as you were describing it True Blood immediately came to mind. Great job! #26
ReplyDeleteYay! I actually don't watch True Blood, but I adore the Sookie Stackhouse books it's based on.
DeleteYou did great!
ReplyDeleteThankee. :)
DeleteYay! You did it! Good job on your delivery-- and I like your story concept. Great comps and fun editing, too. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteNice! Good start. Your delivery is good, and I love the hallucination effects. Some of the transitions are a little rough yet, but those should be easy to fix.
ReplyDeleteYou'd think they'd be easy to fix, but you'd be wrong. ;) I think the problem stems from not having long enough pauses for the transitions, so I'd have to redo the whole thing.
DeleteINteresting! I'd read pages, if I heard this pitch. Good work :)
ReplyDeleteYay! Thanks!
DeleteHi Robin,
ReplyDeleteI agree with the others, I thought your narration was very smooth and pleasant to listen to! And I definitely started seeing a few stars from the hallucigenic drugs, lol... I actually really liked that part. I like how you took the idea of fairies and threw them in a modern setting, where dust is used as a drug—very interesting!
Good luck!
John Krissilas, #40
http://www.johnkrissilas.com/
Lol-that's my favorite part, too.
DeleteNarration was smooth. NO one ever sounds like they look lol.
ReplyDeleteI had this one ASL teacher who didn't talk until the last day of the semester. THAT was weird. :D
DeleteExcellent pitch! You were confident, polished, and articulate. The only critique I have is on the aesthetics of the video. Sit near a window during the day for natural lighting and maybe choose a chair that you don't blend into. But those are unimportant things when you are pitching to a live agent. :) I also loved the hallucinogenic transitions! It got the point across very well.
ReplyDeleteBravo! Well done!
#41
And one more thing! I find I've been zoning out after about 45 seconds on most of the pitches I've watched, but yours kept me attentive the whole time. Great job!
DeleteLol-the chair under the blanket is black. #tried Also, I was going to film during the day with natural light, but it took too long to figure out how to convert cell phone video so I could edit it in Windows Live Movie Maker.
DeleteAnd that's about the nicest compliment ever! So glad you liked it!
I pick your pitch for the agent round on my blog. Yay! Love this premise and great job on the video!
ReplyDeleteYAY! I WIN I WIN I WIN! Thanks, Brenda! (And thanks for making me do this!)
DeleteVery well done, Robin. Great pitch. #5
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rachel!
DeleteCongratulations on making it to the agent round!
ReplyDeleteYou, too! We're going to be blog-mates! (So stop looking so poised!) :)
DeleteVery nice pitch indeed. Such a modern take on the fairy concept. I'd LOVE to see more of this, but I guess I'll have to wait until it's published!
ReplyDeleteYou're so nice! I do hope to be able to oblige you someday.... :)
DeleteI've always loved the sound of this story . . . you are braver than I am~great job:-)
ReplyDeleteBravery comes in many forms. Making a fool of myself is inbred. :D
DeleteFairies, fairies, fairies. <3 <3 <3
ReplyDeleteThis is great. You explained the book eloquently and you've written about one of my favorite fantasy creatures. Total winner!
No, PRACIN. They don't like to be called fairies, either. :D
DeleteThanks!
oops-see post below. O.o
DeleteLOL--humans call them pixies all the time. It's not inaccurate, just un-PC. :)
DeleteLove a good Urban Fantasty and this one sounds great! Congrats on making it to the agent round-but 'm definitely not surprised! Good luck in the contest :)
ReplyDeleteIsn't UF the best genre? :) So glad you liked it!
DeleteCongrats on being picked! Great job, and sounds like a fun story, too! I feel like I should have spent a little more time learning how to add effects to my video! :D
ReplyDeleteIt really wasn't all that hard. CERTAINLY not as hard as finally getting all the way through the thing without tripping over my own tongue a dozen times! (I'm not good enough to be able to piece together different takes, though that's on my to-learn list.) :)
DeleteWow, so many people with really cool premises. This one rock. Congrats on making it through to the next round.
ReplyDelete#32
Thanks, Ellie! There are a LOT of great pitches in this contest!
DeleteVery nice, Robin, very nice. And Congratulations! The effects were just the right amount and your soft lulling voice matched perfectly with the faery story. And it sounds magical yet, filled with YA blues. :)
ReplyDeleteYay! So glad you liked it! :)
DeleteIt's so nice to hear the voices of name's I know from twitter and other contests. I love your premise - this sounds like a really cool story! Congrats on making it to the next round.
ReplyDeleteI know-it's almost like we might be able to recognize each other on the street now. ;)
DeleteVery cool pitch. I loved the different elements you incorporated into it. Congrats on making it into the agent round!!!
ReplyDelete#38
Thanks! I'm no artist, but I like to push fun buttons on editing software. :D
DeleteCongrats on the agent round!!
ReplyDeleteYou have such a sultry voice. Woo woo! :D
Love your story concept too. yay! Good luck!!
Sultry, huh? *wonders if she sounds sultry in court* *hopes not*
DeleteThanks!
Love the drama in your voice. The transitions actually distracted me a bit--IMHO you maybe coulda done without them and just carried it all off in the power of your energy. I can't believe you were all shy over in the comics on Brenda Drake's--you're awesome at this.
ReplyDeleteSo, why'd you use the term Pracin? And I kind of got lost, with the illegal group trying to sell pracin-dust on the black market--it sounds like they're not the central conflict, so what's up with them? Where do they fit in?
Thanks! You're right about the transitions. I used then because I thought they were fun, mostly. :) If I ever do another, I'll leave longer spaces so they don't bleed into each other.
DeletePracin is a device to try to distance DUSTED from the MG label people think any story with pixies should have. ;) I got a lot of "this sounds like MG" before I changed it.
The group of traffickers is run by Vincent. I could probably make that clear, though there are several layers of explanation that connect his trafficking to why he wants the secret.
Thanks so much for your comments!
I'll never look at Tinkerbell the same way again. Really nice use of special effects, too. Awesome YA premise <3 (I love how it plays into all of our insecurities about being different while growing up)
ReplyDeleteGo, TeamDrake!
I've seen this pitch in written form and I think it's great both ways. I love the hook at the end. My only critique would be that it was a little difficult to hear you. Otherwise, excellent job. I feel like this book is just inches away from being snagged up by an agent. (Remember me when you are world-famous?) :)
ReplyDelete