Live Pitch Contest... with VLOGS! O_O

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So, you may already know that I majored in Theatre Arts. Where I took scads of acting classes. This after I was the Speech and Drama Stirling Scholar for my Utah high school. I'm currently employed as a trial lawyer. I talk for a living. I talk in front of people for a living. I love talking to large crowds of people. Or small crowds of people. Or just to people. I have never once in my life been accused of shyness. (Anyone who knows me is laughing right now at the very idea.)

So why am I so terrified of recording myself giving my pitch and then posting that pitch online?

Talking? No problem.

Being on camera? Nope--I was in a student film in college and had tons of fun.

Pitching? Mildly terrifying, but I've done it before and survived nicely.

Proving to the world at large that I'm rather a fool? Eh. I'm a blue personality, so I crave intimacy in any form. The more you know about me, the happier I am. You'll probably think my foolishness is endearing. Or something.

Is it creating the vlog? Maybe--I've never done that before. I might suck at it. I might also be able to use this as the perfect excuse to finally purchase a webcam. (I know, I know. Living in the Dark Ages, blah, blah, blah.) And technology toys have never frightened me. Nor computer programs. And I'm a wiz at googling "How to create a vlog." And following instructions.

But, you guys . . . normally public speaking includes someone to talk to. Someone I can adjust my voice and facial expressions for. Vlogs are filled with semi-planned semi-spontaneity recorded in a vacuum. I suck at semi-planned semi-spontaneity--especially in a vacuum. Ditto at planned quirkiness. How does one script for personality? But if I don't script for personality, won't it figure showing up is optional? Surely a personality-free pitch is worse than no pitch at all!

Also, where should I film the video? If you were looking out my monitor at this moment, you'd see the bathroom door behind me. And the hall where my kids sometimes hang up their backpacks. Might be distracting. But is the view of the dining room's dirty blinds any better? The TV? The front window, currently covered by sheet-curtains?

This is why two of the organizers of the upcoming Pitch Live! contest teamed up to talk me off the ledge on Twitter on Monday. The first one is me replying to Brenda's tweet announcing Leigh's sample-vlog.

They're so nice, right? I mean, who can say no to these girls?

So I should do it, right?
*runs screaming into the night*
*feels ashamed of self*
*gathers courage*
*seeks a sticking-place*
*realizes she has run out of screws*

Anyway, any advice would be appreciated. I'd like to learn how to edit out the boring parts, where to look, what to say... etc. Please feel free to answer the questions I don't know enough to ask. Are there any free video editing software programs that can help me spruce it up? Help!

Also, you all should totally join in the torture fun. Misery Party loves company, after all.

You gonna play?