Jori's Interview for the A CHANGE OF PLANS Blog Tour

One of the best things about being part of the writing community is that, inevitably, your friends start publishing. Donna K. Weaver has been my friend for a long time, and is one of the nicest, most giving writers out there. I'm proud to be part of her debut. (Make sure you enter to win free ebooks and swag, at the bottom of the interview.)

Blog readers will have seen this cover already, but it's pretty enough to show again:

*sigh* I love that cover.

Today, I'm pleased to share an exclusive interview I was able to obtain with Jori Virtanen, one of the hunky side-characters in A Change of Plans (hunky enough for his own book, as it turns out...). As you'll be able to tell, getting this interview wasn't easy, but I hope you'll be pleased with the results:

Me (quietly): I'm sneaking into Jori Virtanen's hospital room, where he's been recuperating from the pirate attack that has shocked the world. Rumor has it he was friends with the four young people still missing, so we'll see if he can tell us anything about them.
 Jori? I'm sorry to bother you...
 Jori (eying Robin suspiciously): What do you want? Haven't you taken enough blood?
 Me: No, no... I mean, yes, I'm sure they have. I mean... I just wanted to check to see if you're okay.
 Jori (with a you-can't-be-serious glare through his one exposed eye, before turning to stare at the wall): Do I look like I'm okay?
 Me (sighing, sitting on chair by bed): I can't imagine what you've been through. Who would have thought pirates would attack a cruise? I think you're so brave.
 Jori's face turns even blotchier, the pale sections turning whiter and the bruises, showing under the huge bandage covering half his face, darken. His mouth works but nothing comes out.After an awkward moment, he grimaces. Jori: I wish people would quit calling me a hero. I'm not hero material.
 Me: Well, you have to admit that there's a lot of evidence for the hero theory, right? You did what you did, put yourself in danger, and all because you cared about your friends. That seems really heroic to me.
 Jori: I was the only one stupid enough to get plowed in the face.
 Me: (laughing): I thought stupidity was a prerequisite for heroism. I can't think of a single fabled hero who carefully planned his exploits.
 Jori: (tries not to smile): All right. Point taken. Are you from the psych unit?
 Me: (smiles): Why? Are you crazy?
 Jori: I'm not talking to any shrink.
 Me: (grins) Then it's a good thing I'm not a shrink.
 Jori: If you're not a shrink, who are you?
 Me: I'm sorry, I know you're probably resting. I just wondered if you wanted some company. Sorry. I'll leave if you want.
 Jori: Are you really assigned to keep me company? What, am I on a death watch or something? Afraid of what I'll do if the Coast Guard calls off the search?
 Me (with a sympathetic sigh): You must be frantic. Did you know the ones who are missing well?
 Jori: Yeah. I did. That Jimmy is really going places. (Jori's eyes widen) I do know them.
 Me (winces): Sorry. I'm sure they're okay. Jimmy is a musician, right?
 Jori: Actually, he's supposed to be a rancher. Just graduated and is expected to go help with the family business. But you have to see that guy on stage. He's wasted in Texas.
 Me: What about the others? Maria? What is she like?
 Jori: She's Jimmy's fiancée.
 Me: His fiancée? When were they going to get married?
 Jori: They haven't set a date yet. He still has to break it to his mother. (Jori rolls his eyes.)
 Me: (laughing) And Braedon and Lyn? Are they engaged, too?
 Jori: Engaged? Are you kidding me? They're barely talking. Well, Lyn's barely talking. But Braedon and me, we got a plan.
 Me (leans in, intrigued): Do tell.
 Jori: I don't know a lot of the details, but Lyn got burned bad a while back. And she's afraid of fire, if you get my meaning. And she saw Braedon as fire.
 Me: Well, I've seen pictures, and that man is sort of hot. And he's a surgeon, right?
 Jori: I don't know about hot. I'm hot. Or I was. But Braedon is so approachable. He must have an amazing bedside manner. It was something else to watch the two of them before she got scared off, like something special was happening right in front of me. Man, that sounds sappy.
 Me: No, it sounds sweet. Did they meet on the cruise or come together?
 Jori: They met on the cruise. And hit it off almost from the beginning I think, from what Elle says.
 Me: Elle’s Lynn’s best friend, right? So you were friends with both of them?
 Jori: Will you quit talking about them in the past tense? Yes, I was friends with both of them. All of them. I AM friends. Now you're making me do it.
 Me: Sorry, I'm so sorry. I just meant, you know, before they went missing.
 Jori: Yes, they're my friends. The first real friends I've ever had.
 Nurse: Jori, time to change your dressing! (Stops, stares at Robin.) Who are you? You can’t be in here.
 Jori: I thought you were with the hospital. Who are you?
 Me: I’m just… a fan. I’ll be going. (Runs away before Jori can throw his water mug at her.)

Le sigh. Men with scars are sexy. Doncha think?

As if that's not enough, behold the Rafflecopter!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Make sure you also order your own copy of this awesome book:

Amazon 

B&N

Goodreads

Rhemalda Store

In closing, let me leave with the blurb about the actual main characters in A Change of Plans. Jori is awesome, but this ain't his book.

When Lyn sets off on her supposedly uncomplicated and unromantic cruise, she never dreams it will include pirates. All the 25-year-old, Colorado high school teacher wants to do is forget that her dead fiancé was a cheating scumbag. Lyn plans a vacation diversion; fate provides Braedon, an intriguing surgeon. She finds herself drawn to him: his gentle humor, his love of music, and even his willingness to let her take him down during morning karate practices. Against the backdrop of the ship’s make-believe world and temporary friendships, her emotions come alive. 

However, fear is an emotion, too. Unaware of the sensitive waters he's navigating, Braedon moves to take their relationship beyond friendship--on the very anniversary Lyn is on the cruise to forget. Lyn's painful memories are too powerful, and she runs from Braedon and what he has to offer.

Their confusing relationship is bad enough, but when the pair finds themselves on one of the cruise's snorkeling excursions in American Samoa things get worse. Paradise turns to piracy when their party is kidnapped and Lyn's fear of a fairytale turns grim. Now she must fight alongside the man she rejected, first for their freedom and then against storms, sharks, and shipwreck.

Have you read it yet?

It's my birthday and I'll b*** if I want to....

Last week I got a "flirt" on an online dating site from a 29-year-young man who wished me happy birthday. He was much too young for me (I'm OLD, yo!), but I thought it was nice. So I responded with a friendly thanks.

His next message was "Not interest ed." (Space included in original.)

I responded: "Lol. Well, duh. You're MUCH too young for me."

To which he replied "You're a typical nuerotic LDS divorcee...." (misspelling included in original).

If your blood is boiling on my behalf, thanks... but let it go. When I charged headlong into the online dating world, I knew full well what I was getting myself into. I didn't suspect that single boys had changed much just because they were single men now. I don't harbor a fantasy that everyone I "meet" will be mature and kind. People are wonderfully weird. They misinterpret simple communications all. The. Time. Especially when they're feeling vulnerable (which is to be expected on an online dating site).

I have had occasion many times in my life to observe first-hand the results when someone chooses to take a perceived slight to heart. To let it fester and grow beyond all proportion. Some people go through life hyper-vigilant for any offense, from a slightly negative word to an inconsiderate driver. My 9-year-old takes great pleasure of late twisting my words to mean something negative (i.e. "That was a stupid decision" becomes "You called me stupid! You think I'm stupid! I can't believe you would say that! I'm going to go hide in your closet until doomsday!") (Yes, this particular child is my mother's worst revenge for my own childhood. How'd you know?)

It's easy to see how juvenile this sort of reaction is. It's harder to see that reacting even to intentional slights is just as, well, stupid. (Yes, I called you stupid. Deal.)

This silly young man doesn't know me. He may have read my perfectly awesome (but limited) profile, but he still doesn't know me. He can't know that I'm about the least neurotic divorcee he'll never meet. Also, he's apparently one of those stupid men who goes around looking for offense. All in all, not worthy of my time or my angst. As soon as I'm done with this diverting blog post, I'm going to forget he ever existed.

For those of you NOT in the dating scene, online or off (lucky suckers), this advice applies to every aspect of your life--but particularly to those where you have to make yourself vulnerable in order to succeed (so, like, all the time). Yanno, like when you're querying a book. Or letting people buy and review your published book.

People are wonderfully weird. They will misinterpret what you've said, written, intended, etc, all. The. Time. They will hate what reasonable people should love. They will strike back at you simply because you make them feel vulnerable. Lesser. They will try to tear you down so they can feel better about themselves. And, no, these stupid people aren't worthy of your time or your angst. You can feel free to ignore their existence, because it's not important.

Like Anton Ego said in Ratatouille, "...the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so." This is true for people, too. Even neurotic LDS divorcees.

So to all the haters, whiners, offense-takers, and their ilk, have at: Do your worst. Those of us who create meaningful junk, who are earnestly engaged in a good cause, and who refuse to waste our time worrying about what others think of us can't help but be more successful than you are. Not that we can remember that you exist.

We don't like to b**** about things that don't matter.

Book Bomb for Ben

If you're not getting the Daily Kicks from David Farland, well, you're missing out, first of all, but most importantly, you probably missed this one yesterday (slightly modified so as not to make the email addy quite so obvious):

David Farland’s Daily Kick in the Pants—We Need Your Help

As many of you know, Dave’s son, Ben, was in a serious long-boarding accident last week. He is 16 and suffers from severe brain trauma, a cracked skull, broken pelvis and tail bone, burnt knees, bruised lungs, broken ear drum, road rash, and is currently in a coma. His family has no insurance.

We are having a book bomb this Wednesday on behalf of Ben Wolverton to help his family out. You can view the event’s facebook page here.

For those that don’t know, a book bomb is an event where participants purchase a book on a specific day to support the author, or, in this case, a young person in serious need: Ben Wolverton.

Many of you have expressed sympathy for Dave and Ben and have asked if you could help. Now you can. We need you to help Ben get the most out of this book bomb. Right now we are focused on spreading the word and telling others about it. If you could share this event on facebook, twitter, pinterest, your blog, or through email, please do. This is a way everyone reading this can help, whatever their financial situation.

On Wednesday, we will have the book bomb. If you haven’t yet purchased Nightingale orMillion Dollar Outlines, please consider doing so on Wednesday. If you have already purchased them, you can donate money to Ben and his family here.

If you have a blog and would like to do a post about this book bomb, please email me, and I will send you some information you can use.

Please consider “attending” our event on facebook.

I don't support a lot of book bombs, since I think they lose their power if overused, but this one seems like a very worthy cause, and David's books are well worth reading (also, I'm in the acknowledgements of Nightingale, so...) :)

What the kick didn't say about book bombs is that the one-day boost in sales helps bring the books to the attention of many people who aren't involved in the bomb, since it makes it appear to be a bestseller... then they buy it, too, and it really does become a bestseller. If that seems like cheating, consider that becoming a bestseller is always more about luck and marketing than skill (witness 50 Shades).

So please consider spreading the word about the book bomb, then go buy a copy of either book on Wednesday. I've met Ben, and he's a really nice kid.

You gonna play?

UPDATE:

We now have a website dedicated to Ben, thanks to James Duckett, who put it together. The site has updates about Ben's status, links to the donation page, and talks about the book bomb. The address is www.helpwolverton.com/.

For tomorrow, you should know that anything purchased through these Amazon links for Nightingale(http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B006P7SEBY/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il?ie=UTF8&camp=211189&creative=373489&creativeASIN=B006P7SEBY&link_code=as3&tag=davidfarnet-20) and Million Dollar Outlines (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00B9JYJ6W/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il?ie=UTF8&camp=211189&creative=373489&creativeASIN=B00B9JYJ6W&link_code=as3&tag=davidfarnet-20) will help Dave. He gets a small percentage of anything purchased through those links. So, if you want to buy several other books or products tomorrow, with or without Nightingale and Million Dollar Outlines, please do. Those who are doing blog posts, please update your Amazon links to the two provided here. 

If I'm reading that right, you can follow those links and then buy ANY Amazon product and the Wolvertons will get a portion of it. So join us, k?

Cover Reveal! A CHANGE OF PLANS by Donna K. Weaver

I ran into Donna K. Weaver a few years back in a writer's chat room and suggested that she might want to join my writer's group. Since then, I've cleverly tricked her into running the whole thing (see how smart I am?). She also hosts me every year for LTUE (three years running now), talks me off the occasional ledge, and is generally fantastic in every way.

Oh, and she totally writes me under a table. I got to read A CHANGE OF PLANS when it was still in beta reading and I loved it even then. It's been so exciting to see her go through the submission process, land a publishing deal, edit, design her cover....

Oh, yeah. The cover. Is. AWESOME!

Wanna see it?

Are you sure??

I mean, if you see it, you're going to want the book, and it's not out yet.

You'll have to wait until June 1st!

Really? Still? 

Okay, you asked for it.




Drumroll..................

See? Told you it was awesome. (I got to render an opinion on the final options and this was my favorite.) The description rocks, too:

When Lyn sets off on her supposedly uncomplicated and unromantic cruise, she never dreams it will include pirates. All the 25-year-old, Colorado high school teacher wants to do is forget that her dead fiancé was a cheating scumbag. Lyn plans a vacation diversion; fate provides Braedon, an intriguing surgeon. She finds herself drawn to him: his gentle humor, his love of music, and even his willingness to let her take him down during morning karate practices. Against the backdrop of the ship’s make-believe world and temporary friendships, her emotions come alive. 

However, fear is an emotion, too. Unaware of the sensitive waters he's navigating, Braedon moves to take their relationship beyond friendship--on the very anniversary Lyn is on the cruise to forget. Lyn's painful memories are too powerful, and she runs from Braedon and what he has to offer.

Their confusing relationship is bad enough, but when the pair finds themselves on one of the cruise's snorkeling excursions in American Samoa things get worse. Paradise turns to piracy when their party is kidnapped and Lyn's fear of a fairytale turns grim. Now she must fight alongside the man she rejected, first for their freedom and then against storms, sharks, and shipwreck.

Yeah, I know. Now you're all upset because June 1st is too far away, right? Well, console yourself with this trailer:

And follow Donna around the internet. Maybe if you're really lucky, you'll win an ARC or something!

Twitter: @TheDonnaKWeaver

Blog: Weaving a Tale or Two

Goodreads: Go add it to your To-Read list!

I'm a real fan of romance and this book was delicious--it is also a very clean romance, for all they have sand everywhere and very little to wear. :)

So what do you think of the cover? Don't you just want to pick it up and read it RIGHT NOW?

Debut Alert: FEUDLINGS

I have an amazing friend named Wendy Knight, who rode with me this year to LTUE, resisted the urge to freeze my bra during our LTUE slumber party at Donna Weaver's house, and monitored one of the pitch session rooms for me. She. Is. Awesome!

Also, she's an awesome writer, and her debut book, published by Astrae Press, is out TODAY! Behold the pretty!

I think the cover and tagline sell the book all by themselves, but here's the blurb anyway:

Nothing makes a new school suck worse than discovering the guy you’re in love with is your prophesied nemesis.

Ari is the most powerful flame-throwing sorceress ever, and her people’s last hope in an ancient war. But she’s also a seventeen-year-old girl, and in her free, not-hunting-nemesis times, she jumps from school to school, trying to figure out regular people her own age and pretending she’ll get the chance to graduate.

Shane lives a double life. He goes to school and masters the art of popularity, hiding the fact that he has a fate with a slim chance of his survival. He’s destined to end a 300 year-old war by killing or being killed. He knows he’s hunted by a powerful enemy who’s not afraid to die. Only problem? He has no idea who that enemy is.

When Ari shows up at Shane’s school, angry and sullen and determined to keep him at arm’s reach, neither of them realize they are supposed to be killing each other, not falling in love. Until Ari does realize it, and she almost dies – by Shane’s hand.

Awesome, no? You want to buy it, don't you? It should be up on all major ebook sites very soon, and I'll update this post once it is (or you can go search Amazon yourself--just saying), but for now it's available on the Astrae Press website. This book will start as an ebook, but will transition to print as soon as a certain number of copies are sold.

I'm just so proud of Wendy. She's such a sweet girl and I'm excited to see her taking this step (though, as always, I'm concerned about her dubious choice of high-heeled boots--not the best for support on rocky terrain). Also, it's fun to watch her hyperventilate in our online chat group. Just saying. :)

So how do you like the cover?

How Querying has Ruined me for Online Dating

First off, let me qualify--I'm not actually online dating. More dabbling. Browsing. I keep signing up for free memberships and creating profiles, but haven't seen anyone--much less been messaged by anyone--who has tempted me enough to shell out cold hard digital cash for the privilege of communicating with them.

Also, I haven't even been divorced a full two months yet, so I'm not exactly ready to start a new relationship. As a friend made me admit, I'm mostly interested in validation at this point... and my friends can give me that. So they tell me. (Still--why has NO ONE tried to set me up on a blind date? When does that start? *thinks blind dates are mysterious and exciting* *knows the reality will kill that illusion fast*)

Anyway, part of the reason that my desire for validation (of my perfectly valid desirability) hasn't driven me to whip out my credit card is the truly sad state of the profiles on these sites.

None of the examples below were taken from
the profiles of these handsome men.
In case you were wondering.

By which I don't mean there aren't great guys out there. Or that the guys are sad. Please don't think I'm down on men, 'cause, really, I'm not. (Most days.) I know enough good husbands--and was happy enough in my own marriage, while it lasted--to know that there are lots of good men in the world.

No, I mean these poor, sad, men are useless at selling themselves. (Probably the girls aren't much better, but for some reason, these sites don't show me a lot of female profiles.) :)

Maybe it's the years of query training I've been giving myself, but, seriously, why would anyone put this in a profile and think it's going to help attract your soulmate:

A little about me...
Well that is a tough one due to that I really don't talk about myself much. 

Honey, if you're not going to talk about yourself, you need to find some other way to meet girls. Can you imagine if I used that line in a query letter?

Oh, wow, I guess I should tell you about my book now, right? I'm just so bad at talking about my book!

I'm sure that would have the agents just lining up at my door.

Or maybe this:

I am fairly entertaining, but I know when seriousness is required.

Do you wonder what he means by "fairly" entertaining? Me, too. Here's a tip: if you make your profile and/or query entertaining when it's called for, and serious when it's called for, this sentence is unnecessary. If you don't... I won't really believe this sentence, anyway.

That's like saying this in a query:

You will enjoy the subtle humor and edge-of-your-seats suspense of my book.

Show, don't tell, people.

This one drives me bat-crazy:

What I do for fun...
We will have to talk to find out.

Really? I can think of a few reasons for this response: 1) he was too lazy to complete his profile, so he's probably not actually serious about finding someone; 2) he thinks this hint of mystery will entice women to message him, even though it's vastly easier to click through to the next guy who bothered to actually complete his profile; 3) what he likes to do is illegal, kinky, or embarrassing. Either way, it's like me putting this in a query letter:

Agents are going to be lining up for this amazing, future bestselling book! If you want to have a chance to represent it, email me and I'll tell you all about it. If I don't hear from you, I'll assume you're too uptight to be my agent, anyway.

Worst?

My Self-Summary
Well, who would have though we would meet like this. Me posting an online profile, and you here reading it. I guess I better make this good since you will probably only spend a few seconds here. They ...

You see what he did, here? He KNEW he only had a few seconds to attract the woman he'd someday marry, and he wasted it on fluff. Just to be fair, I clicked past the first two lines to the full profile--and the whole first paragraph is fluff! Nothing actually about him! Now, he does seem like a very nice man and has some fun information on his profile, but, guys, really--lead with the good stuff! What is unique about you? What will make me want to get to know you better? Can you encapsulate yourself in a sentence?

Just for fun, this is what it would look like in a query:

I'm so excited to be able to meet you, my future agent. I just know we're going to have so much fun with this book of mine and that you're going to love it and I'm going to love you. I don't want to waste your time, so let me get to telling you about my wonderful book, which has truly been a work of love--blood, sweat, and tears for the last few years of my life.... [which is where the agent stops reading]

First impressions matter. Always. They can be overcome, but it's SOOO much better to just get it right the first time.

I'll stop there, lest I come across as a bitter divorcee. 'Cause it would never do to let THAT cat out of the bag, now would it?

Have you noticed any unforeseen negative effects from your own querying? Ever tried online dating? Blind dating? It's fun, right? And exciting and mysterious? I knew it!

Advice from the Pitch Master

Hi, all! Sorry for the silence (again), but I've been busy. Dealing with personal stuff (which you can probably guess), applying for a new job (why, yes, I AM nervous that my potential employers will stop by here and conclude that I'm not sufficiently dignified for the position--thanks for asking), and getting over 70 pitch sessions ready for LTUE.

Busy.

Busy.

Busy.

The good news? Two of those time-eaters are now mostly history, so I should be able to resume my regular blogging schedule. And writing. And reading, please the heavens. (How I've missed it! I had to return BITTERBLUE to the library today and I'm not done yet!)

Anyway, since I didn't get to attend many panels at LTUE--Pitch Master is a time-consuming job, turns out--I thought I'd share my thoughts on pitching agents and editors. I had lots of fun dispensing this advice to the captive, nervous pitchers as they waited for their turn with Michelle Witte and Judith Engracia (my awesome friend Wendy Knight--whose debut FEUDLINGS comes out next month!!--was monitoring the editors' room, so I got to spend ten seconds every ten minutes with two awesome agents. So fun!).

So here's the short list of what I told them:

• You bought the time: use it! Don't [do what I did when I pitched last year and] get all excited when you get a request and leave early. Especially if you haven't asked any of your carefully prepared questions. These folks are experts in their field, so ask your questions!
• Don't ask questions designed to figure out if the two of you are compatible enough to work well together. That's the sort of thing you ask when they offer representation. Which, let's face it, probably won't happen. (See below.)
• The odds of THIS agent being the agent who will love YOUR book are only slightly higher than they would be if you were cold-querying through the slush pile. Your whole career isn't riding on the next ten minutes. Your personality--though fantastic--can't make an agent like your lyrical-sci-fi-romance-adventure when she prefers comedic-sci-fi-romance-thrillers. So chill out.
• Since this agent COULD be the agent who loves your book, make sure you pitch it well! Follow the advice Howard Tayler gave about teasers this year (in one of the few presentations I made it to): You need an inciting incident, character action, conflict, and a hook. A hook is that moment when the reader starts to imagine your book themselves--to wonder what might happen and get excited to find out. (Howard usually blows my mind at cons. He's THAT amazing--and he actually remembered me this time! :) )

And that's about it for advice from me.

Two more things, but this is just general con-advice: 1) always have an updated business card to hand out. If you're wondering if you even need such a thing, ask yourself if there's a chance you'll meet someone nice, who you'll want to talk to again. If the answer is yes, you need a card. It just takes too long to write down your email on a napkin--and then they'll just lose the thing or forget who the heck gave it to them. Photo, email, blog, twitter, etc. Trust me. Get it before you think you need it. You can design them yourself with free templates on Word and print them cheap at your local copy shop.

2) Save the elastic necklace things off your con-name-tags in case the next one wants you to wear a pin instead. Necklaces are sooo much better, IMO. Also, your business cards are stored INSIDE the plastic name tag holder, right behind your name tag. That's where they live. Then, when you meet the aforementioned really nice person, you don't have to go hunting. You don't have to wonder where you left your bag. You just dig into your name tag and voila! Easy.

So who has pitched before? Any advice you want to add? Any general con advice? Who was at LTUE?